We do claim to know many things, in fact everything, in our
life. Though, we know a lot many things we do not realize them. For example,
you can hear an advice on ‘how to invest in stocks’ form the one who never
invested a penny in stock market. Our most problems starts when we convince ourselves
that we know but in reality we don’t know, we never realize. One such thing is
meditation. There comes a time in everybody’s life when we want to move forward
from knowing and understanding to experiencing and realizing. ‘Focused-mind can
solve your problems of life and you can focus your mind through meditation’, I learned
from many masters in their fields. Motivated by some you-tube guided meditation
techniques, I decided to learn this art from Vipassana Meditation Center, which
is also called ‘Dhamma Khetta’. Best
things in this world are free or at very less cost. You can register online and
ten days stay is absolutely free including food.
On the way to the center, I asked an old uncle the way to Dhamma
Center, he guided by giving directions and said ‘You are going to a great place
and All The Best’. Great place I am going, I knew that but why he said ‘All the
Best’. Did not bother. Reached the place, after registration, all are supposed
to be interviewed by the teacher. He asked me some simple questions like what I
do, medical history and all. ‘Do you have the will power to stay here for ten
days’ he continued asking. ‘Of course’, I said. ‘I came here after taking ten
days leave from my company; I dedicated these days to meditate to live a
peaceful life’, I thought. ‘All the best’, said the teacher and I move to my 8
feet by 10 feet room which I had to share with one person.
Life-At-Halt
It was as your life was moving like high-speed train
suddenly stopped at rest. There were certain rules we had to follow. You are
not allowed to bring you phones, tabs, laptops, reading or writing material with
you in the room. You have to stay inside the boundaries where it is written ‘practitioners
are not allowed to move out of this boundary’. You cannot speak with anyone,
only on a rare occasion you can speak with the supporting staff, called
‘Sevaks’. No hand shakings, no
greetings and you cannot look into anybody’s eyes. They do all this to maintain
‘Arya Maun’, which means ‘complete
silence’; outside and inside environment.
They serve breakfast at 6:30AM, lunch at 11:30AM and guess
what would be the timings for the dinner. There will be no dinner. Only evening
tea with pop-corns will be served at 5:00PM.
Sudden restrictions on the way I was living created a
feeling of anxiety. The statement ‘All the best’ flashed in my mind. This was the
first realization. On the name of freedom we become too dependent on the amenities of life. The way we discuss peace and meditation in cozy environment is very different
from the reality.
All Is In The Mind
Doors are closed now, I can’t go outside, can’t share anything with anyone, can’t read or
write. It was first day and my mind was clouded with all the negative thoughts.
‘What will happen if I fell ill, will they provide medicine, how can I live
without dinner, food is the basic necessity, they should provide dinner, how
will my family members contact with me if they have any problem, Oh my god! my interview
call is scheduled next week and I did not intimate them…’.
Suddenly we were called for evening tea. I walked fast to be
first in the queue to get my share. As it was first day they decided to provide
Upma which made me very happy. I ate
double the quantity I normally eat as there would not be any dinner. Many times
our body compensates for the stupid and anxious thought of our mind, so did my
body. I had stomach upset that whole night.
We got the schedule for the following days where we need to
meditate for ten hours per day for next nine days without fail. I need to get
up 4 o’clock in the morning, meditate in different stretches whole day until 9
o’clock in the night.
With stomach upset and anxious feeling, I thought if I did
mistake coming here? I could bear many things but ‘no-dinner’ was highly
un-nerving thought which I never practiced earlier. I had no option but to go
with this.
On day 2, there was only tea and pop-corn in the evening but
I did not eat much taking experience from the previous day. That night was
relaxing. On day 3, eating food in small quantity was normal to me. I had no
anxiety of not getting anything to eat at night. That was second realization, ‘Everything
is in the mind’. The same ‘me’ two days back was feeling all the troubles of the
world and the same ‘me’ in same conditions is calm now. Not sure what worked on
me but I felt, when all doors of alternatives are closed and you have only one
option, your mind will get convinced; you become peaceful.
Adhishtana – The Practice to Increase Will-Power
All are required to meditate for 10-hours per day but my
favourite practice session was ‘Adhisthana’
, the practice to increase will power. You need to sit in a position, without
any movement, for an-hour. Though you can sit for some-time without movement but
when you are told that you have to sit still, your mind starts to
struggle against your will. Even 15-minutes of a sitting becomes difficult. Our mind does not want to be controlled; it revolts when you ask him to work as per
your will. Enormous back pain, stopped blood circulation, itching everywhere in
body, headache etc. are some of the symptoms of inner revolt. That was most
difficult exercise throughout the course.
But you have no option, your teacher is observing, you have
to sit. All mental revolts come to an end when we persist with single objective
of the mind. There I realized the importance of teacher. If you have somebody
to teach and observe your activities you can master anything.
Everyone was able to perform this activity by the end of
course. It would not have been possible if there was no teacher to observe.
Forced-discipline is required for sufficient time before the mind is ready to
be ‘self-disciplined’.
My Pajamas was missing
A funny and very insightful incidence happened on the fifth
day. If you are not washing your clothes by yourself you can give it to washer
man who returns them on the following day. But that morning I could not find my
pajamas at the place where we are supposed to get our clothes. There was no one
to ask. I searched it everywhere but could not find. I was angry. ‘How can they
do this, this is irresponsibility from their part, they should have told to bring
one extra pair… blah..blah..blah..’. My mind was constructing thoughts at the
highest speed possible. All inner-silence is gone now. The most urgent task for
my mind was to get my pajamas and find someone who I can make responsible for
this missing.
After an hour of effort, I moved a step back and asked myself ‘has
this been so important that took all my peace’. Many times we give all our
mental energy to the least important thing in our life. The more you try to
forget the more it comes back. That is the favourite play of mind, ‘brooding
the disturbing thought’. And the solution is ‘to observe’. The thought ‘my
pajamas is missing’ kept coming whole that day but I started observing rather
that reacting. I kept asking myself ‘Pajamas or Peace’. The thought became
feeble at night. It was a day of great learning and realization. How deeply we
are attached with petty thing in our life and we are ready to give all our
energy to get them.
The Last Day
We were allowed to speak on the tenth day. There were people
from all walks of life; students, bureaucrats, professionals, executives, entrepreneurs
etc. Also, I found there were a few people who quit during the course, not sure
why. I cannot explain their teachings and philosophy but I can say that I learned
some hard lessons which would not have been possible in normal course of life.
